I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
