I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize