just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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