question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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