For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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