Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
