how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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