I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
