I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
