the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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