Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
