thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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