I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
