I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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