Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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