Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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