He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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