just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
