I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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