My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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