Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
