i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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