O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
