Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
