Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
