Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
