Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
