The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's the barista slut.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
