I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
