Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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