I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
