Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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