I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
