I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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