so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
