the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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