we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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