i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
