Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize