i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
