Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
