i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's never too late to be topless.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
