I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
