If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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