Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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