i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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