oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
