you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
