oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize