So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she smelled like a LAN party
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
