Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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