I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
