sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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