apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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