So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
