Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
