Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
