Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
