why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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