I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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