I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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