This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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